Man Rules

API

My Indian name is "Runs with Beer"
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Found a pearl on another planet that needs wider distribution. Maybe not new, but can ya imagine this posted on the refrigerator?

MAN RULES

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

2. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

3. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

4. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
  • SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • JUST SAY IT!
5. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

6. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

7. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

8. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

9. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

10. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

11. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

12. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

13. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

14. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

15. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

16. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

17. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

18. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

19. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

20. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

21. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
 

duck-boy

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Wish I could get away with posting this on my frig....but since its stainless steel I have an excess...
 

hatchet1

100% AMERICAN & LION KILLER!!!!!
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With there being 7 males to 2 females in the hatchet compound{counting the dogs}..I just printed this out and stuck it on the fridge, a reminder to the wife just how lucky she is to have me..
 

DKScott

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hatchet1 said:
With there being 7 males to 2 females in the hatchet compound{counting the dogs}..I just printed this out and stuck it on the fridge, a reminder to the wife just how lucky she is to have me..
Be sure to post up your forwarding address ....
 

hatchet1

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I,LL BE THE ONE KEEPING THE HOUSE AND THE ADDRESS ALONG WITH A HEFTY MONTHLY ALIMONY CHECK DIRECTLY DEPOSITED INTO MY HUNTING FUND.. :smiley-dancing-yellow:


**and i dont plan to re marry..so that check is gonna keep coming for awile!!**
 

YORT40

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I recited the rules to the 3 females in my household.
No one was amused, couldn't even get them to crack a smile.
Oh well, back to Yort's rule:
#1 - Keep my mouth shut, and go about my business!





Troy
 

outdoorplay

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He'll that's how we do it here.....
When she out with her friends and I'm watching all their kid....
 
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